Dirty Martinis and the Art of Enjoying Life

It was our anniversary. I wanted to go out and celebrate! To say “cheers” to the years we had spent together. We would clink glasses, have a delicious meal, and celebrate a major milestone in our lives. But, at the same time, there was an issue I know all too well.

I was on a diet.

When I’m on a diet, I will sometimes let a night like this slide. But this diet was different. I had a photoshoot coming up, and I had to shed some bodyfat before my shoot. This put me in an uncomfortable position.

It was our anniversary for crying out loud. This was my husband! If I didn’t celebrate, I’d feel guilty.

But if I went, and ruined my diet, I’d feel guilty for that as well.

When you're metabolism is damaged it's a recipe for disaster with dieting. With just one cheat meal, you can basically reverse all of your dieting and exercise for an entire week—or more. This feels so defeating.

Are you seeing the pattern here? I set myself up to feel guilty either way. Here I was, coming up on a major milestone, a huge accomplishment. Yet, I was feeling guilty because of food and my weight. I realized this was a pattern that would continue to occur in my life unless I learned to address it and break the cycle.

Suddenly, I remembered something my husband had said a few months back. He said this in passing, as we were doing something boring, like laundry or cleaning. We were talking about dieting.

“You know, it’s funny,” he said. “Since I’ve met you, I don’t think you’ve ever not been on a diet.”

This stopped me in my tracks. I had known my husband for several years now, and he was right.

All those years, I was dieting.

All those birthdays, I was dieting.

All those holidays, I was dieting.

We had traveled to so many locations, yet I didn’t try much of the food, because I was dieting.

Then I thought to myself, if I’m missing out on so many things, what the hell am I dieting for anyway?

When I’m 80, sitting in my rocking chair, do I really want to look back on my life and feel like I missed out on so many experiences because I was forever trying to slim down my body? Was that even worth it?

How many moments have I missed? How many times did I say no to dinner plans with a friend because I was on a diet?

“I don’t want to live like this,” I thought to myself. “There’s got to be a better way.”

This one thought grew and grew in my mind and brought me to where I am today. It wasn’t necessarily instantaneous. It took time for me to change my behavior. But, eventually, I came to have a better attitude toward dieting.

“Let’s go out to our favorite martini bar,” I said to my husband when he got home from work. “I want to celebrate our anniversary!”

“Aren’t you on a diet?” he said, giving me a strange look.

“Not tonight!”

The rest is history. We got dressed up, and I felt beautiful. We went to our favorite martini bar that overlooks the entire city. There was a beautiful piano in the center with a live pianist. My husband and I connected and talked in a way that we hadn’t in months. We drank delicious martinis and celebrated with a glass of champagne. They brought us non-dairy ice cream. Our waiter was so great that we gave him a massive tip. We stayed out later than we had in forever, and we even stopped for Taco Bell on the way home!

It was a night of my life that I’ll never forget. A moment in time that only happened because I wasn’t worried about a stupid diet.

I wouldn’t change that memory for anything. (Certainly not a couple of pounds.)

This life is so precious. Sometimes I forget how beautiful it really is. I get so caught up in wanting to look a certain way, to fit into a dress, to feel amazing in a bikini. I could diet another day.

Sometimes, if we’re too careful, we let life pass us by.

Love, Julia.