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How to Feel Sexy on Your Weight Loss Journey

Oct 26, 2021

I was getting ready for my wedding day. It was still a few months out, and I was on a diet to shed some fat for the big day.

You know that feeling when you get to that “uncomfortable” number on the scale? Everyone has a number. When they hit it, they feel totally ashamed and defeated. A lot of times, when you hit that number, it’s just from taking a little break after a super-hard diet. So, you enjoy your life! You have the champagne, eat the cookie, go out with friends. Then, one day, you step on the scale. And BAM. You’re back to that uncomfortable number.

For me, that number is right around 135 pounds. (It used to be 150, but I had adjusted the number downward by this point.) Right around 135 pounds, I start to really notice the cellulite on my thighs. My arms become noticeably bigger, and my face puffs out. When I get to this number, it actually feels really embarrassing for me to go to social events. I have a hard time “hiding” those extra pounds. 

So, here I was, getting ready for my wedding day. I was right around 135 pounds, I was on a diet, and I was heading home to Michigan for two things: my bridal shower and a sexy boudoir shoot, so I could surprise Paul with the photos as a wedding gift.

I was really not excited about this shoot. Here I was, bigger than I wanted to be, and I was going to pose in lingerie? Oh. My. God.

“I really hope this photographer is a BOSS at editing,” I thought to myself.

Normally, when I am bigger, I don’t even buy myself new clothes. I wait until I’m the size I want to be. Then I allow myself to go shopping. Yet, here I was, walking into Victoria’s Secret. All 135 pounds of me, looking for some skimpy lingerie.

I nervously grabbed some items off the rack and went to the dressing room with a look of embarrassment on my face. What makes me think that I have the right to shop for lingerie when I look like this?

I slipped on the first item and looked in the mirror. I was afraid of what I might see. Instead, I gasped and took a second look.

“Wow, I actually look pretty good!” I thought to myself.

I tried on another piece, and the same thing happened.

“Can I help you with anything?” a lady asked from outside the dressing room.

I opened the door to show her the lingerie I had on. I told her about the boudoir shoot.

“Oh, I know exactly what you have to try on. I’ll be right back!”

She skipped away and grabbed a sheer white robe with some stockings. By the end of my trip to Victoria’s Secret, I practically had an army of women gathering an entire “sex” wardrobe for my shoot. It was SO much fun!

Then, I showed up for the shoot. The woman did my hair and makeup, and we started to take pictures. I was surprised by how comfortable I was. I felt like a princess. Again, it was SO much fun!

But the best part was when I got the photos.

Was I stick skinny? No.

Did I look like a supermodel? Also, no.

But when I looked at the photos, I was shocked. I felt so beautiful and sexy. And that’s when it hit me.

Even if I have a goal weight, or a vision of what I want to look like, it doesn’t mean that I’m not sexy and beautiful just the way I am, right at this moment. Think about this for a second.

Life is about perspective, right? I bet, if you really, really tried, you could find some things about yourself right now that you ABSOLUTELY LOVE.

For me, when I tried to do this for myself, I realized some things.

  • When I’m a little bigger, my boobs are absolutely huge and sensual, and I LOVE the way they look.
  • I’ve always been told I have really beautiful eyes, and that doesn’t go away with a few extra pounds.
  • I have great style, and I can really put myself together nicely.

The things about me are unique, beautiful, and amazing. Think about yourself for a moment. Is there a feature that you have that a skinny girl would probably die for? Do you have a smooth, pretty nose? Beautiful eyes? A glowing complexion? Puffy lips that people pay thousands of dollars to have?

Tony Robbins always says: “Where Focus Goes, Energy Flows.”

There is major truth to this. Whatever we focus on, we will feel. So, I CHOSE at that moment to focus on the things that I love about myself. When I caught myself thinking about my cellulite or my fluffy chin, I would shift my focus back to the things that I love about myself. This caused me to walk around with massive amounts of confidence, and I found it much easier to stick to my plan and take care of myself.

So, maybe you are where I was back then, and you aren’t exactly where you want to be when you step on the scale. Maybe you just had a vacation and now you’re feeling guilty and hideous. Whatever the case may be, I encourage you to try a few things:

  • Pick three features about yourself that you LOVE and choose to focus on them.
  • When you catch yourself having negative self-talk about the things you don’t like, shift your focus to one of these three things. (Or all of them!)
  • Write down a list of actions that make you feel beautiful and sexy and try to do these things regularly. Don’t wait until you’ve hit your goal to get your eyebrows waxed, to get your nails done, to buy that outfit, or to put on that full face of makeup. DO IT NOW. You deserve it, you sexy beast!

These are the tools that helped me feel the most confident. They helped me keep my “swag” during my weight loss journey. Like anything, though, it only works if you actually do the work. So, grab paper and pen right now and try this. It’ll take you less than five minutes, and the result will be incredible.

Love, Julia

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